Remember the Gold Within That Was Hidden Behind The Veil You Chose To Remove
Stillness is the rebellion. Safety is the revolution. Your soul is the way forward.
The Way Out Is Through You
Does anyone else get the strong urge to totally reboot and rewire their entire “computer” system — and feel slightly outraged at the fact that we came to this earth only to be programmed into a daze, and then made it our mission to unlearn so much of what we were told? To do endless inner alchemy just to shift our limiting beliefs so our subconscious can finally work in our favour — not in the favour of those who want us powerless and easy to control.
Reprogramming the Mind Is Reclaiming Your Power
I’m selectively doing subconscious reprogramming my way. Through the subliminals I create. Through the spoken affirmations I listen to on repeat and actually embody — because they do eventually stick.
I barely consume mainstream music (once in a blue moon, sure), but call me crazy — I truly believe the easiest way to program someone into lower vibrational states is through the music we’re fed, the news, and everything else that normalizes disconnection.
The Media Is The Matrix
It is even confirmed truth that MK-Ultra - a real government mind control experiment used media, trauma, and repetition to manipulate perception and behavior. That’s not a conspiracy it’s documented truth. So it’s not too far fetched to think today’s media is still being used to influence us on a subconscious level.
Tune Out The Fear, Tune Into The Frequency
So I intentionally listen to high vibrational music that raises my frequency. That brings me back to my truth. A glow state. Not a survival state laced in fear and noise.
I’m not ignorant to what’s going on in the world, but I choose not to excessively consume fear-based things if I don’t need to. The more you back your intention — that everything you do is for the benefit of your highest self and what she would do — you’ll move, walk, talk, act, and choose differently.
You’ll come home to yourself.
You’ll keep shedding the layers of limiting beliefs fed to us by this society and begin to break free.
Becoming Who You Truly Are Is a Homecoming
You might be called crazy. Misunderstood. But I take that as a compliment now. It means I’m doing something right. It means I’m awake. I’m conscious. I’m moving with intention — to keep coming home to my truth, so I can help others wake up to theirs.
It’s a never-ending journey, and it’s not linear. I don’t have all the answers, but I can share the wisdom I’ve learned and the tools I use that have drastically shifted my internal state. And slowly but surely, my external reality is catching up to all the inner moves — the shifts no one can see or feel except for me.
In a way, it’s nice. I’ve come to understand the value of doing the inner work without immediate, visible results — just as much as I value reaching the external goals that add to life’s richness, fulfillment, and confidence.
Your Internal World Is the Gold
The more you unlearn what was never yours to carry, the more you’ll realise your true power was always there all along. It was never something you needed to seek. The gold was always inside you.
Like in The Alchemist — we find ourselves going on a journey to find the “gold” we believe will change our lives, only to discover it was within us from the start.
Being connected and doing the inner work means you access that gold. That power. In a world where so many are stuck in hustle mode, survival mode, a rat race designed to keep us disconnected — choosing to go within, heal, and shift your subconscious to work in your favour is radical. It’s revolutionary. And it’s deeply commendable.
The Black Sheep Isn’t Lost — She’s Awake
Even if you feel like the black sheep — keep going. I’d rather stand out than fit in. I’d rather keep seeing the truth that was always within me and continue to self-educate than conform to a society that isn’t designed for our best intentions.
Discernment Is Your Superpower
We have to have our own best intentions at heart. We need to use our discernment — our God-given gifts, like intuition — to feel what’s right and what’s not.
The more you lead by your internal compass and stay connected to what’s present in your body, the more you’ll build massive self-trust. Your body will always let you know through a subtle whisper before your rational mind comes in, banging its feet, demanding answers and evidence.
Paranoia Isn’t Intuition — It’s Protection in Disguise
Sometimes, paranoia from past trauma can disguise itself as intuition. The best way I’ve personally dealt with this is by slowing down, quieting my mind, and then asking my body how it feels around a certain person, situation, or decision — whatever it may be. If you feel somatically like you’re contracting or just feeling off, trust that first hit of intuition.
Because often, if trauma is still being healed and unresolved, that true intuitive nudge gets quickly followed by a wave of paranoia. The mind starts racing, trying to find reasons rooted in past hurt to confirm this is dangerous — just so you don’t repeat the same mistake again.
When that happens, thank your PTSD for trying to protect you. Thank it for serving a purpose. Then, lovingly release the fear masked as protection and tune back into your body for a clear, non-chaotic answer. The more you do this, trust me — the easier it becomes to tell the difference between intuition and trauma.
Keep rewiring your nervous system for safety. Even if you haven’t experienced “severe” trauma, it’s essential to maintain a healthy, regulated nervous system in the world we live in. Especially in London, where most people are running around caffeinated and dysregulated as f**k.
Healing Isn’t Just Yours — It’s Ancestral
Also ancestral trauma is very real. If our parents lived in survival mode, unresolved stress patterns can be passed down — not just through behavior, but through our biology. Just another thing to be conscious of aware of and work with it not against the opposing forces. Befriend your demons and you will learn so much more than when you avoid, suppress and resist. Lean into the fear. The dark isn’t as scary as you think when there is a liberating ray of freeing light waiting at the end of the tunnel waiting to wrap you in bliss and ecstasy after the dark nights your soul endured. Without the darkness there would be no light.
The More Aware You Become…
I’ve learnt to develop a sense of acceptance for my journey when it comes to regulating and healing my nervous system. I believe I carried some of my mum’s anxiety in my body — ancestral patterns passed down through biology — and my environment growing up didn’t exactly foster a calm or regulated state either. Between the inherited stress and my extra sensitivity, I probably have to do 5x more nervous system work than someone who wasn’t so frazzled. I’ve accepted that — even if it means EFT tapping in a public bathroom or doing box breathing just to bring myself back from fight/flight/freeze into a parasympathetic (rest and digest) state when I’m out and about.
The more aware you become of what state your body is in — whether it’s fight, flight, freeze, or safety — the more power you have to shift it. Your nervous system is not fixed; it’s fluid. And I’ve been slowly building its resilience. It is so possible, even if the odds feel stacked against you. Even if you’re breaking ancestral curses at the same damn time.
Collective Survival Isn’t Living
Going back to the nervous system dysregulation epidemic our society is facing — most of us are unknowingly living in a state of dysregulation for far longer than we should be, leaving us stuck in chronic, collective survival. Running on low fuel, nearly burning ourselves to the ground, scrambling to find a lighter with liquid in it — just to ignite the spark we nostalgically miss. But the truth is, most of us have never really known what true safety and peace feel like for extended periods of time… because survival has simply become the new normal.
Fear in the Water: How Cortisol Becomes a Spell
And when we live in perpetual states of survival, we become more susceptible to misalignment and disconnection from our divine power. We’re surviving day to day. Paycheck to paycheck. On a burnt-out nervous system. Running on high cortisol is like drinking water that’s been laced with fear — programmed into every molecule, festering inside you — only to attract more fear-based and low vibe experiences… because that becomes your nervous system’s new “normal.”
Why the System Wants You Dysregulated
Rewiring your nervous system isn’t just healing, it’s how you reclaim your power in a world that benefits from you being dysregulated. Because when you’re constantly in fight, flight, or freeze, you’re easier to control. Easier to manipulate. Easier to sell to. Easier to silence. Burnt-out people stay stuck in a loop of endless burnout and excess coffee and quick fixes to keep going for corporations that benefit from you being too tired to question your own unfulfillment and the corporation itself. The more disconnected you are from your body, the more you feel you need to do instead of just be. Which will take you even further out of alignment.
To dissolve the separation within yourself, you need to just allow yourself to be. Yourself. The most rebellious thing you can do in a world that praises you for working like a robot and demonizes you for resting is to choose the opposite — and allow for stillness. To rest in your divine feminine energy just a little bit more and welcome in the softness and the energy flow of your life force that can only be awakened through a balance between the masculine (doing, logic, structure) and the feminine (slowing down, feeling deeply, receiving without guilt, trusting your inner voice). We all carry both within us — regardless of gender. It’s not about choosing one over the other, it’s about harmony. But hustle culture traps us in an over-masculinised loop of “doing,” and for women especially, that creates disconnection from our feminine — the very place where we manifest, heal, receive, and remember.
If you’re always doing, you never get a moment to be. And when you never be, you never get quiet enough to hear yourself. That silence? That space? That’s where your truth lives.
You see, hustle culture is so pushed upon us because if we are in a constant state of doing, we never rest in stillness — and to rest in stillness would be a threat to a system that knows that, in those moments, we begin to contemplate and come to our own conclusions. Our minds open. We question things. We soften. We remember.
Stillness brings reconnection. Hustle brings disconnection. Disconnection from the self is the real goal of this matrix. Because once you’re disconnected, you’re easier to mold. Easier to drain. Easier to keep asleep.
But once you heal and become grounded in yourself, you’re no longer easy to manipulate. If the information you’re being fed doesn’t sit right — you question it. If something you’re told to do doesn’t align — you don’t comply just because the crowd is. You begin to build a system that works for you. One rooted in sovereignty. Truth. Choice.
The first and most powerful thing you can do is begin rewiring your system for safety, while also unearthing the limiting beliefs that no longer serve the version of you you’re becoming.
And once your internal world feels safe again — just watch. Your external reality begins to flourish. Without the forcing. Without the overextending. Without the desperate grip. You become magnetic because you are healed. Because you remember. Because you’re home within yourself.
You just have to trust the divine unfolding. You’re on God’s plan — and it’s bigger than your fears. Everyone has their own demons, their own lessons, their own divine timing. But you? You’re exactly where you need to be. Just keep going.
The Matrix Doesn’t Want You to Know Your Power (But You’re Remembering Anyway)
Society doesn’t want women to know our power — so they teach us to shrink. Be palatable. Be pretty. Be nice. Be agreeable. Don’t ruffle feathers. Don’t take up too much space. Don’t speak too loud. Don’t cry too hard. This conditioning seeps in young and creates a loop of chronic people-pleasing and self-abandonment — where the fear of being called “too much” keeps us small, tame, and disconnected from the very life force that holds our feminine power. And yet that power? That softness? That emotion? That wild, intuitive chaos? It’s where our magic lives. It’s where we manifest. Where we heal. Where we rise.
But the matrix thrives off our forgetting. It wants us to be overworked, overstimulated, and emotionally suppressed — because the more disconnected you are from your body, the easier you are to manipulate. When you’re living in fight, flight, or freeze, you’re easier to control. Easier to sell to. Easier to silence. The world benefits from you being dysregulated — because a burnt-out woman doesn’t question the system, she questions herself.
They don’t want you rested. They don’t want you regulated. They don’t want you tuned into your body or trusting your inner knowing. They want you chasing worth through productivity, chasing love through performance, chasing abundance through overexertion — all while ignoring your own depletion. The more you’re disconnected from your feminine — your softness, your stillness, your intuition, your divine rebellion — the more easily you comply.
But stillness is where your power lives. Rest is where you reconnect. And emotion? Emotion is the portal to your highest self. The matrix tells us sadness is weakness, rage is inappropriate, grief is inconvenient, and emotional expression makes us unstable or “too much” — but that’s the lie. Emotion is data. Emotion is intelligence. Emotion is the holy signal of what’s been repressed or unloved within us. You don’t need to escape the discomfort — you need to sit with it, breathe into it, listen to what it’s trying to teach you. Feel it, alchemise it, and let it move.
This is why the teachings of Tantra get so demonised. Because Tantra invites you back into your body — the very thing society profits off disconnecting you from. Tantra teaches you to be present with every sensation, to embrace shame and grief and rage as sacred, to love even the messiest parts of you as worthy, and to let your wholeness be seen. And when you come home to your wholeness, you stop trying to outsource your power. You stop performing. You stop pleasing. You stop begging for crumbs in systems that were never built for your thriving. You become sovereign.
And I’ll be real with you — Tantra has changed my life. It’s shown me that the most radical rebellion in a world that thrives off fear, disconnection, and conformity… is to be yourself. Fully. Loudly. Softly. Unapologetically. Authentically. It taught me rejection is just redirection. That people projecting onto you usually aren’t judging you — they’re judging themselves. That our desires aren’t sins — they’re sacred maps from the divine, whispering us toward our purpose. And that the journey is the reward — not just the manifestation, but who you become as you rise into it.
And that’s the piece they really don’t want you to know.
Because once you start remembering that you were born worthy… once you start listening to your own voice over theirs… once you start building safety in your body even in the midst of chaos… the game changes. You’re no longer easy to control. You stop consuming what they feed you. You question what you’ve been taught. You choose different. You create new. You heal. You rise. And you free others by simply being free yourself.
So here’s what I’ve learned: healing is rebellion. Stillness is power. Emotions are teachers. And your feminine energy — the part of you that feels deeply, receives without guilt, creates from magnetism not effort, and moves through life with intuitive grace — that part is your access point to freedom.
They wanted us to forget.
But we’re remembering.
And every time you choose presence over panic, softness over suppression, authenticity over performance, and love over fear — you glitch the matrix a little more.
Another Hidden Cage (Don’t Fall For The Ego Trap)
Ask yourself — where can I also soften in my life and not self-control?
If you are reading this and resonate, then you — like probably anyone reading — will know that we all have an ego within us that serves a purpose. Its purpose is to keep us safe and survive in the face of danger. Sometimes we can let the ego become a tyrant instead of a passenger along our journey.
For a lot of us, the unknown is scary, and the ego wants to control and micromanage because that creates a sense of a bit more safety. The thing is — this type of safety is an illusion. When we listen to the voice of our ego more than the voice of our soul, we get trapped in our own prison.
Do not let yourself fall into a cage within your being after working to escape the control of the world we live in. Be consciously aware of your higher self (your soul) speaking — and when your ego is trying to run the show. This takes practice, but it is worth the time. True freedom comes from deeply understanding what comes from each voice.
The soul can surrender and is fearless, whereas the ego will show you the limiting beliefs and fear-based illusions it will taunt you with — in order to work with the brain’s primal function of keeping you safe from any danger, even if that “danger” is standing on a stage to do a TED Talk… which involves only using your voice, with no death or real threat on the horizon (maybe just your voice shaking a little).
That’s just a little example and reminder to break free from all the cages — not just the matrix. Even your self-imposed limitations.
I believe the ego serves a purpose, and I don’t believe in killing it off — but in integrating it, allowing it to be witnessed, and then deciding to move from the soul — a place of love, not fear and survival.
To all the rule-breakers, black sheep, truth seekers, big dreamers, and old souls — I see you. I feel you. It can be a lonely road when you’ve awakened to your power, when you know the truth, and when you’ve chosen the path of fearlessly facing your shadows — facing the demons that are really just illusions, ready to be dissolved by the magic within you. Not many people choose this path because it’s not easy but I believe in polarity. If there is struggle there is bound to be so much light and reclamation in the other side.
Once you’ve remembered your light, you can shine it into a world that needs it more than ever. Remembering your power = using it for the highest good of yourself and for all. Keep challenging the old programming. Keep coming home to you. Challenging it in real time when a moment of doubt for example washes over you. Reframing it to a thought that better serves you creates new neural pathways. One’s of empowerment not the old virus from your old programming.
And if you desire to go even deeper with self-concept shifts or nervous system regulation tools — check out my subliminals that are here for you for free. I create them myself with my voice and infuse them with reiki alongside intentionally chosen hz frequencies relevant to the specific subliminal and binaural beats to truly let your subconscious soak up the new intentionally chosen programming that you have decided to program in by your free will. Just a black sheep doing black sheep things. YouTube: @glowstateaudio (subscribe if you are 1% curious)
https://youtu.be/UzFeFIc7ORo?si=hKcdv_G0YrdFcKWg
^ my Confidence Subliminal and Deep Self Worth Reset so you can remember who tf you are!
✨✨✨
If you read to the end of this 5am rambly, ADHD share of mine thank you, I appreciate you. I just felt like spilling my thoughts onto paper and it became quite the novel of channeled nuggets of wisdom this morning.
With love and light always,
Eleana 🤍🕯️
The black sheep isn’t lost — she’s just the only one awake in a crowd that forgot their magic.
✨✨✨✨
Hi, I’m Eleana — and welcome to Glow State Goddess, a space where we embrace all parts of ourselves. Here, I share soul writing on healing, self-love, life reflections, motivational reminders, and gentle wisdom to guide you back to your truth. My mission is to help you become the highest version of yourself — the version you were always meant to be. You weren’t born to survive in a constant state of fight or flight; you were born to live in your glow state. I’d love to have you here.🕯️🤍
If someone or a situation feels dodgy, it probably is.
Love your speaking truth to power writing.
Kindest regards
Carol Power
Johannesburg
South Africa